Normal Topic The Metamorphosis Or Dick Bugs Me (Read 730 times)
John
Galactus
*****
Offline


The Master Cylinder

Posts: 6691
Location: Selden
Joined: Apr 11th, 2009
Gender: Male
The Metamorphosis Or Dick Bugs Me
Mar 21st, 2016 at 10:31pm
Print Post  
He was one tired Dick.  So he curled up with a book. 
“As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect. He was lying on his hard, as it were armor-plated, back and when he lifted his head a little he could see his domelike brown belly divided into stiff arched segments on top of which the bed quilt could hardly stay in place and was about to slide off completely. His numerous legs, which were pitifully thin compared to the rest of his bulk, waved helplessly before his eyes.”
Dick Dante fell asleep in the comfort of his own home.  Or at least the trailer outside of his home, which was still under construction.

  The morning came and Dick decided to take a metal detector and look for oricalc. I mean, why not?  It’s only the rarest metal in the universe, so of course there has to be some on his property…
   He walked to the Tree.   The huge Wisewood that grows between the worlds.  He was greeted by fairies. Cute flying pixies and he offered them sweets.   He was feeling good, and happy, and why not?  He was in a fairy glen, with honest to goodness fairies.   It was then that he noticed...her.
She was naked.  She was gorgeous.  She was luscious and did I mention she was naked?   She was pure white.  White as snow, with white eyes with steel blue circles and stark white hair.  And antlers, but never mind the antlers, I mean she was naked….
  She smiled with the smile of every centerfold ever drooled over.  She smiled and it actually hurt.  Dick was at attention.  She of course, demanded attention.   He didn’t want to look at her chest, so he looked lower.  Then he realized that looking up was probably better.  But to look into her eyes was too lose one self.  He didn’t know where exactly to look at her, so he roamed her figure trying to figure out where was the safest place foe his eyes to land.   
He could tell she was reading his mind.  She was probing him.  He wanted her to, even though he knew it was a bad idea.  He had so many bad ideas.   She stood with her hand on her hip, slightly askew, and he knew it was not safe to look at the curves there.
She asked him for a kiss.  Dick knew it was a great and terrible request.  He might have succumbed to this nymph if not for Bumble, the Dwarf.  He came stomping out of the woods into the grove with what looked like jolly ranchers, a Slurpee, and a large bag of M&Ms.   When Dick looked back to where the nymph was, she was gone.  He was surprised that he was only largely disappointed.

Bumble was surprised to see Dick here. He told him he likes to give the fairies sweets.   They spoke for a while and Dick left him to wander around the Great Tree.  He left his metal detector by the Fairies and walked.
  He was too lost in thought to notice that it was too dark for the time.  He was also too distracted to realize that it was a great deal warmer.   He had to climb a great root and when he jumped from the top onto the earth, the stones near him began to move.
  The stones stood up and transformed into a Troll.  The troll demanded a toll.  Cause that is what Trolls do.  Dick levitated up out of his range and walked towards the forest, away from the Tree.

When he landed he was set upon by goblins.  Horrid, greedy, hungry goblins, or as we say around these parts, normal goblins.  It was small work to send them on their way.  He took only a few steps into the woods proper when he was surrounded by what looked like honest to goodness Elves.  He was so happy to see elves he didn’t really seem to mind that they were pointing what looked like particularly sharp arrows at him from drawn bows.   Then a large rock moved and their leader appeared from under a camouflaged cloak.

The elves disarmed Dante and escorted them to their Talan, or tree fort.  They brought him up via an elevator of vines and wood.   The lower limbs of the tree seemed to grow together and form stages.  It was here that a female reddish blond elf communed with Dick’s mind.   She saw he was not a threat and offered him their hospitality.  She explained that the they are the Watchers of the Woods and here by the Tree of Worlds, things seem to wander where they shouldn’t and they, as I already said, watch.
Much to their surprise, Dick gave them a scalpel made of pure mithryl.   Even the normally stoic elves were visibility impressed.   Dick was given food, drink and their protection.   He slept well in their talan.
When the sun arose he again ate, and was told that a Fae Envoy wanted to speak with him.

A few hours later a Noble Fae entourage showed up and a great table was set with a feast.   Sorel, the third in line to the Opal Throne, cousin to Lord Oberon, and known only to Dick, schemer in the failed coup to oust the good king.  Dick was scared.

  Hours later, after jugglers, dancers, flying pixies, musicians and even the beating of a slave, Sorel addressed Dick Dante Directly.    It was hard not to stare at the seven foot tall blue goateed boy with rams horns.   Dick was, as I said, scared.

Sorel asked how and what he did to help his liege, Oberon during his brief exile to Adam’s World.  Dick explained graciously that he helped Oberon.   Dick wasn’t sure but he think this answer both impressed and enraged the Duke.   
Sorel asked again.  Dick explained that he swore an oath and had doctor/patient confidentiality.  All realized the power of oaths and Sorel pressed no more.   Dick was not sure, but it seemed Sorel was pleased with that answer.  He was not sure why.

Sorel offered a toast to friendship.   Dick was obligated to drink the nectar.   It was glorious.  He wanted more, but asked for none.    The party winded down and the Nobel Fae departed.

The Watchers of the Wood gave Dick a copper leaf engraved with strange, but beautiful glyphs.   He was told to show it to the Troll when he went home.  The escorted him to the Tree and told him to go Widdershins, and left.
Dick saw the troll who was super baboon assed pissed.  He picked up a rather large face smashing stone club, a club named The Liquefier in Troll, but there was no way for Dante to know that, and was about to liquefy  Dick  ( hence the name of the weapon, Trolls are very practical when naming their weapons) when he saw the copper leaf.
The troll let out a sigh and dropped the Liquefier and let Dick pass.

Dick was greeted at the grove by Gygax, his cat and familiar.   Gygax purred and followed Dick home.

Dick was tired and went to sleep.

And when he awoke from uneasy dreams he was surprised to find himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.
  

I am scary, very, very scary.
Back to top
IP Logged
 
THE ONI
Galactus
*****
Offline


I Roll Too Many 20's

Posts: 2694
Location: Long Island, New York
Joined: Apr 19th, 2009
Gender: Male
Re: The Metamorphosis Or Dick Bugs Me
Reply #1 - Mar 22nd, 2016 at 9:29pm
Print Post  
The morning came and Dick decided to take a metal detector and look for oricalc. I mean, why not?  It’s only the rarest metal in the universe, so of course there has to be some on his property…

Ok. I thought it was worth a shot of finding any metal that may have been there and powered by the Ley Lines for a few hundred or thousand years. An old copper penny, anything along those lines.

Hey technically I could have rolled a one on a thousand sided dice.  Smiley
« Last Edit: Mar 22nd, 2016 at 9:42pm by THE ONI »  
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
THE ONI
Galactus
*****
Offline


I Roll Too Many 20's

Posts: 2694
Location: Long Island, New York
Joined: Apr 19th, 2009
Gender: Male
Re: The Metamorphosis Or Dick Bugs Me
Reply #2 - Aug 6th, 2017 at 8:50am
Print Post  
Bumping a little story that includes Sorel of the Fae
  
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
 
>